Big Love

We come not to bury Bill Henrickson, but to praise him, or at least the wonderful HBO series, “Big Love,” in which he was the protagonist. I got HBO when my patients were asking what I thought of Dr. Melfi from “The Sopranos” and her therapeutic approach with sociopathic (duh!) mob boss Tony. And now I’ll be missing Bill, a Utah Mormon who lived in a “plural marriage” with his three wives and many children (I lost count).

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Finding a Therapist Online

When choosing a restaurant for a special occasion, I go online. I check the menu and prices on the restaurant website; browse the Menupages reviews to learn about the dining experience of other customers; and look up any New York Magazine or New York Times reviews. If you’re looking for a therapist and don’t have a recommendation from someone you trust, you may look online, as well, since we’ve learned to do that for everything. I strongly suggest that you don’t read reviews of therapists.

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Are You Doing All You Can?

Are you doing a little bit, a reasonable amount, or everything you can to boost your satisfaction in life, to reach your goals? You may be saying, “Hey, life is long. I’m taking the scenic route.” Nothing wrong with enjoying your life every day! The question is whether you’re childishly expecting great results through minimal efforts.

If you’d like to harness all your resources to help yourself, therapy is a great help. If you’re using your very good brain to come up with why you can’t possibly reach your goals in life, rather than using that brain to deal with the obstacles you need to work through, therapy can be a lifesaver, or at least a satisfaction saver!

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Comfort Zone

Letting your comfort zone dictate your choices will stop you from living life to the fullest, because you’re limiting your new experiences and new experiences help us grow. If you stay in the middle of your comfort zone, it will shrink accordingly—your neighborhood, then your apartment, your bedroom, and finally your bed! Wouldn’t it be better to expand your comfort zone?!

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Love: Noun or Verb?

A few years ago there was a recurring TV spot aimed at getting kids to be more active, “Verb: It’s what you do!” Many people I see in individual and couples treatment look at love as a noun. It’s something someone gives you—and usually the person isn’t giving you enough!

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