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Category Archives: New York City Counseling and Psychotherapy
Therapy: Long or Short?
The buzz in therapy circles of late concerns a recent New York Times article written by a NYC psychotherapist, Jonathan Alpert, who inflates his credentials and bashes long-term treatment and the therapists who provide it. He implies that long-term therapy is only for severe psychological disorders—and he doesn’t consider depression and anxiety to be severe issues. Alpert’s approach is the “give a man a fish and he eats for a day” method, instead of teaching him to fish, so he can eat for a lifetime. There is effective and ineffective short-term therapy and effective and ineffective long-term therapy. Continue reading
“Because You Loved Me”—Co-Dependency or Good Parenting?
A few years ago I was waiting in a doctor’s office and, having forgotten to bring the parenting book I was studying, was at the mercy of Muzak. One of the songs that came on was a Céline Dion hit … Continue reading
HBO and Narcissism
Does HBO have a monopoly on series centered around characters who suffer from narcissism? No, but the network sure has it’s share!…What makes these TV characters so unwatchable is their narcissism, one aspect of which is their stunning lack of capacity to put themselves in anyone else’s shoes. Have you known people in real life whose narcissism affects you like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard? Therapy is incredibly helpful in dealing with narcissism—your own and that of the people you encounter on a daily basis. A good therapist can help you understand the origins and consequences of your narcissism, see it in real time, and find more satisfying ways to live everyday life. Continue reading
“Enlightened” Superiority
While flipping through the channels recently, I landed on HBO’s new series “Enlightened,” and stayed to watch because I admire actress Laura Dern’s work. She plays Amy Jellicoe, a corporate executive who has a dramatic flame-out, goes to a spiritual retreat center, and returns to her life as a new-and-improved Amy, she believes. We get to see how Amy got to be such a mess, through seeing how cold, mean, and superior her mother is. And when new-and-improved Amy confronts stresses in her life, she reverts to mimicking Mom, without even realizing it. Continue reading
“I could’ve had a V-8!” vs. satisfaction
Do you find yourself saying some variation of “I could’ve had a V-8!” about the situations or choices you’ve made in your life? What does “I could’ve had a V-8!” mean, anyway? Poor decisions, or chronic lack of satisfaction? It’s … Continue reading
Posted in New York City Counseling and Psychotherapy
Tagged half-empty, judgement, satisfaction, therapy, TV, V-8
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Natural Networking
“I don’t know how to network” or “Networking feels so fake” or “I’m too shy to network.” Sound familiar? You know your business would improve if you networked, but you’re just too uncomfortable to try. (Read the “Comfort Zone” post … Continue reading
Posted in New York City Counseling and Psychotherapy
Tagged business, comfort, networking, relationships, success, therapy
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Reframing: How to think your way through difficulties
If you’re struggling with a situation, you may benefit from reframing, that is, changing your attitude toward it. This quote of unknown origin provides a great description of reframing: “The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” Continue reading
Don’t Push the Panic Button!
Last month I had an early morning flight, and in the rush I managed to leave my purse in the cab, which I realized as I saw it pull into the airport exit lane. Try to make the flight and give the cabbie an 8-hour headstart selling my info, if he’s so inclined? Or skip the trip and try to recover my stuff? I opted for a compromise. If you have trouble skipping the panic to deal with the situations of everyday life, counseling can help you learn to cope more effectively.
Posted in New York City Counseling and Psychotherapy
Tagged airport, counseling, panic, travel
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The Humor in Everyday Life
My tagline is “Helping people find the joy in everyday life,” and a part of that involves being able to see and appreciate the humor in everyday life. In fact, I consider humor an important enough part of life that I even have a piece about developing a sense of fun on my website. Continue reading
Posted in New York City Counseling and Psychotherapy
Tagged fun, healing, humor, joy, laugh
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Learning Impulse Control from David Mamet
Remember writer David Mamet’s statement from the last two posts, that every scene in a play or film should answer three questions: “Who wants what from whom? What do they do when they don’t get it? Why now?”? This week we’re dealing in a very loose way with the last question, “Why now?”.
“Why now?”, to me, seems about a feeling of urgency, which speaks to impulse control. I need that brownie, or new pair of pants, or fourth martini, you say to yourself, when it’s just a want that will eventually pass. Confusing wants with needs is a common problem in people’s lives. Continue reading