Do I have your attention now?! The quest to get someone to do what they want brings many people into therapy, whether they want the partner, child, friend, client, or parents to stop smoking, be nice, have sex more often, have sex less often, eat more vegetables and fruit, exercise, do homework, respect them, clean the bathroom, or pay more for services.

The unwelcome news I have to tell them is this: you can’t really get people to do what you want, other than your children, and then only up to a certain age. You can bully others into acting like they’re doing what you want, but trust me: they’re sneaking Twinkies and resenting you for making them sneak.