Mark Twain and Hyperbole
Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” It’s an interesting observation and gets to the idea of hyperbole.
What’s the role of hyperbole in your life?
Many of the things that you think of as horrible are things you have invented. You see a blemish and decide it’s melanoma. Your partner or child isn’t home when expected, and you catastrophize, certain that they are lying in a ditch somewhere.
Inflation: it’s not just economic
Anxiety leads many people to inflate the challenges they are currently facing or the events of their past. Everything becomes the end of the world. Is it the worst thing ever? Or are you just disappointed that things didn’t work out as you wished. Is it the best thing that ever happened, or did you have a good time? What’s the reality? Anxiety therapy can help you look at things more realistically.
Minimizing
Or conversely, many of the things you may minimize are objectively pretty awful. A parent was unspeakably cruel and you minimize the pain you learned to bury.
This minimizing frequently happens in domestic violence situations, with adults and/or children saying they “ran into a door” or were clumsy and hurt themselves. This can be an attempt to protect the abuser. It can also be a defense against seeing the situation for what it is and then having to make what feels like an impossible series of decisions.
It can also happen in a demanding job, when you’re climbing the corporate ladder or trying to make partner. You work through weekends and holidays. You never use your PTO or sick days, telling yourself this is just what’s required to meet your career goals.
Or your boss expects an instant turnaround on an intricate, large-scope project. Surprise! There are no additional staffing and resources available. You minimize what you’re dealing with in order to justify staying in an untenable situation.
Hyperbole seems to be baked in to modern life. You may feel pressure to express yourself in inflated terms, especially on social media. People generally don’t post about ordinary events and ordinary days. But aren’t those the vast majority of our days as humans, unless we’re living through a war or other true disaster? We want to be able to find the joy in our everyday lives, not have to pump them up into mountaintop or dark valley experiences.
Let’s go with reality!
But it’s also problematic to “skate” over real tragedy and trauma. Exaggeration in either direction is problematic, because you blow right past reality. And reality matters! It’s the only game in town, so seeing it for what it is and accepting reality is an important step in making a satisfying life.
Therapy can be helpful in learning to think of the events of your life in a more realistic fashion. Mark Twain is fun to read, but he’s not going to address the role of hyperbole in your life.
Contact me and let’s work together to help you make a more satisfying life.